Community Guidelines

Safe(r) Space

The Mingler is intended to be a safe(r) space for kinksters. We are not a SAFE SPACE. We are a safe(r) space, and do our best to:

  • Eradicate hate speech

  • Focus on consent

  • Respond to reports and concerns

You can make reports quickly and effectively to the entire team through our Contact The Team channel in discord, or through our contact page.

For Individuals!

The Mingler was created to connect individuals with an interest in kink, nonmonogamy, and sex-positivity to each other.

We do not allow couples' accounts.

For ALL of you.

Mingler designed to make authentic human connections and not just sexual ones so we encourage people to show up as their whole selves. You'll find people talking about their hobbies as much as their sexy/kinky advertures.

Known, New, Red Fish Blue Fish!

So many many options! In our server we want to ensure people feel comfortable and secure. With that in mind one of the greeters or hosts will give you a shiny role of “known” if they know you personally.

If you’re unknown for now don’t fret! Come out to a few events and mingle and make friends. Once you’re “known” you’ll have full access to the server, including the NSFW and iso-sex channels.

What IS known?

"Known" is a status that only each host or greeter can choose for themselves.

Some would have to have a feel for you overall, and be confident about inviting you to a party at their home. Others may just need to like your vibe.

So, I'd suggest just attending things and getting to know people until someone feels comfortable enough with you that we VOLUNTARILY add that tag to you.

NOTE: Generally speaking, asking people for known status will get you put on their no-fly list for varying periods of time. smiles

Want to become known?

Start slow: Answer the question posted every day in our Discord when you can, and maybe reply to another answer with a comment.

This is a great way to break the ice without huge investment or consequences, and gives people a chance to get to know you!

Join ⁠🙌-opt-in-channels in our Discord and participate.

Oh, and, of course, come out to events! Not just the Minglers, but our hosts and greeters are often at the other events around town. Watch for posts about those, and join when you can! smiles

Adults, Y’all

By participating in The Mingler in any way (events, Discord, etc.), you assert and agree that you are at least 18 years of age, and legal to view sexual content.

Play Nice

We want all y’all to have a good time here, so let’s be polite and respectful to everyone, alrighty?

Be polite. Remember — your future date may be here, too! Be kind, thoughtful, and considerate in your interactions with fellow members. If you have an issue with another member, or any posted content, please report it (all content and profiles have easy-to-use reporting features), and we’ll do our best to resolve it.

Recognize the good work other members are doing with a simple please and thank you. Everyone loves a good pat on the back, after all!

It’s easy to misinterpret things online, so let’s not assume bad intentions: some of them will think differently than you; or English might not be their first language; or their kid will have spilled a glass of milk on the cat a second ago; or they might not understand the particular nuances with which you speak. Or…who knows? A willingness to forgive will go a long way, especially when directed towards new members who might not yet have fully learned what effects their actions have on others.

If you spot something not-so-nice going on in here or at an event, do your part and report it. Seriously. Even if it may be nothing. We’d rather know than not know.

“Hey, c’mon. Play fair!” Remember that nagging voice of your childhood best friend when someone cheated? Well, it was for a good reason. Creating multiple accounts, spamming, posting duplicates or nonsense answers are forms of cheating the community. Please don’t do it. We are not about points or winning, so let’s put helping each other make connections at the top of the list.

Share That Know-How

Everyone has a little Einstein in them, so there’s a good chance someone could use your knowledge, opinion or experience. Don’t be shy to add to a discussion. Just make sure it’s something that hasn’t been posted before – duplicates make things a little harder to sift through.

Recognize Brilliance

See a great post? Say so with a comment.

Please give credit where it’s due. If sharing work that’s not your own, please give credit and a link. You’d want the same done for you.

Be a Straight Shooter

Like mama always said, honesty is the best policy. Please don’t misrepresent stuff (like your identity or credentials). Authenticity is the name of the game here.

Don’t be too shy to ask tough questions or reward the honesty of others. As long as you keep things respectful, everything should be sunshine and lollipops. Maybe even rainbows and unicorn glitter farts.

Get Consent

We don’t police you and what you do, because we know we’re all adults here. Just get consent for things.

  • That includes getting consent before private messaging through the ask-to-pm channel.,

  • There is a channel specifically set aside for nudity and adult pics, and people who enjoy looking at them. (If you don’t see one, it's because you're not yet a "known" member. When you are, that'll be available to you.),

  • If you are naked while chatting (or touching yourself, or whatever), please don’t constantly proclaim this. No one really cares.,

  • In person, don't touch people without consent.,

  • Use correct pronouns or their names.

  • Do not try to tell people what to do or pressure them.

Keep Mingler Stuff Private

The Mingler is a space for you to share and explore parts of you that you might not be willing to share at other events.

Or with family members.

Or with your co-workers/boss.

So, we ask that you respect that others also wish for privacy. In that spirit:

  • Don’t share things from The Mingler without asking.

  • Even if things are publicly accessible (like videos or blogs or twitter screenshots of a personal account), it’s good form to ask about sharing first, just in case.

  • Feel free to share content, like in “Overheard at The Mingler” anonymously. Better, ask the person you’re quoting if they’d like to be credited, and how!

Exceptions: Anything posted by The Mingler publicly, or non-specific memes shared across the internet.

Naughty Stuff (Reporting a No-No)

You’re our eyes and ears! If you think a member isn’t following the Community Guidelines, report them!

No-Nos

Everyone deserves a second chance, but please don’t push us! To keep our The Mingler amazing, we won’t hesitate to remove you if you’re being a jerk and intentionally breaking the rules. Although we’re pretty sure 99.9999999% of you aren’t going to do that, please report it if you do happen to see any no-nos.

Disrespectful or Hateful Comments

“You smell and your hair looks fat!” Well no, that’s not true, but just proving a point – it doesn’t feel too great to be talked to like that, right? That’s why we have a zero-tolerance policy for attacks on other members. That includes attacks based on race, ethnicity, religion, disability, gender, age, sexual orientation or gender identity. We don’t have to sing Kumbaya but, you know, just be cool.

Bullying, Trolling or Harassment

A disagreement isn’t a good excuse for bad manners. It’s okay to debate respectfully – let’s work together to resolve conflict and understand each other. Helping make The Mingler better will make you feel all warm and fuzzy, trust us.

Heckling, badgering and continuing to talk to people after they’ve expressed that they don’t want to talk to you is just another kind of harassment: don’t do it.

Please, when posting screenshots, make them anonymous.

We have a policy about not naming in the Mingler, and we're working on a better alternative to share information about those we might run across in the scene who are bad actors and ick.

Bad Language

Let’s keep the %^&ing potty mouth out of it, including abbreviations or scrambled words (e.g., f•¢^ you, fcuk). Just kidding! We don’t mind colorful language.

Banning Members

  • The Mingler reserves the right to ban any member for any reason.

  • The Mingler reserves the right to delete and archive any content.

  • The Mingler reserves the right to remove the Community at any time.

Anything Illegal

  • Posting anything that infringes on the law, copyrights or registered trademarks isn’t allowed.

  • The same goes for tricking people into sharing personal information.

  • This includes things that are illegal where we are, even if they are legal where you are and vice versa, at our and our legal counsel’s discretion . This is to protect ALL of our members, we are sure you can appreciate that.

Also, by joining and participating in Mingler, you assert that you are not acting as an agent of law enforcement, the media, any news outlet, or the postal service, and you are strictly there in the capacity of attendee and kink enthusiast.

Accuracy

The Mingler is not responsible for the answers provided by community members, including owners, moderators, customers, representatives and employees.

Moderator Decision-Making

  • Greeters/Hosts/Administrators have the final say on things, but if something you post gets removed without warning, we’ll share the reason with you, if you ask.

  • Creating threads or content that question or reference potential or past administrative decisions are not permitted. If you have a concern, you can let us know directly. Posting publicly on the community just causes trouble and is less efficient at resolving problems.

We reserve the right to remove content that:

  • is considered likely to disrupt, provoke, attack or offend others.

  • is racist, sexist, transphobic, homophobic, abusive or otherwise objectionable.

  • breaks the law or condone or encourage unlawful activity. This includes breach of copyright, defamation and contempt of court.

  • advertises products or services for profit or gain (without permission).

  • is seen to impersonate someone else.

  • includes contact details such as phone numbers, postal or email addresses.

  • contains links to other websites which break our editorial guidelines.

  • describes or encourage activities which could endanger the safety or well-being of others.

  • is considered to be ‘spam’, that is content containing the same, or similar, message posted multiple times.

  • is considered to be off-topic for the particular topic.

If you don’t feel that you can abide by our Community Guidelines as outlined above…

…maybe The Mingler isn’t for you. We’ve crafted these guidelines to ensure that everyone within our community has a good time.

Updated & Revised

May 26, 2025