We strive to host inclusive, accessible events in various spaces around the Triangle, and are always on the look-out for new potential spaces.

We juggle multiple priorities when looking at a space:

  • Location—Access to Public Transportation 
  • Queer/LGBTQIAA+ Friendly & Safe 
  • POC Friendly & Safe 
  • Mobile Accessibility 
  • Open to 18+ 
  • Lighting, Acoustics, Service Animals 
  • Dietary Needs (when food is included) 
  • Allergies & Environment 
  • Social Concerns/Anxiety

Each of our events are posted with these considerations, so you can choose whether an event is right for you.

Here, I'll share what each of the considerations mean to us as an event team, and will detail the spaces that we use regularly. For event-specific information, please check the event listing.

Location—Access to Public Transportation

Not everyone drives. Does the space have a close bus option, or is it easily accessible by Taxi, Lyft, or Uber? What other options exist to get there?

The House: Closest bus stop is about 1/2 mile away. Easily accessible by Taxi, Lyft, or Uber. Carpooling is organized inside the event channels. 

Mingler First Tuesdays Location: Closest bus stop is 300 feet away. Easily accessible by Taxi, Lyft, or Uber. Paid public parking in a garage is 1/2 block away. ADA reserved parking 1/2 block away.

Queer/LGBTQIAA+ Friendly & Safe

The Mingler community is intersectional, and we are very protective of our most vulnerable members. We require friendly and accepting to the Queer/LGBTQIAA+ for every event. We don't just consider the event staff, but also the clientele and the staff/owner's willingness to enforce their stand when needed. 

The House: Honestly, started off accepting. What I would consider our minimum with a side helping of "We'll see." Now I would say they are welcoming and go above and beyond to recognize and use correct pronouns and make every person feel comfortable. 

Mingler First Tuesdays Location: Gay-Owned. Not just welcoming, but supporting and sheltering as needed.

POC Friendly & Safe

The Mingler community is intersectional, and we are very protective of our most vulnerable members. We require friendly and accepting to POCs for every event. We don't just consider the event staff, but also the clientele and the staff/owner's willingness to enforce their stand when needed. 

The House: Welcoming from the beginning. Have never had a complaint of any sort. 

Mingler First Tuesdays Location: Welcoming and inclusive.

Mobile Accessibility

Honestly, this is the hardest to find, and takes a lot of scouting. Physical accessibility means we look for ramp and/or elevator access; accessible bathrooms; barrier-free pathways; wide doorways and aisles to accommodate wheelchairs/scooters; no loose cables across walking areas and so on. 

It is not currently required or even common for event spaces to share this information freely on websites, or even to be able to provide this information when asked. We are asking for suggestions from the community for spaces that could accommodate groups of people—and would welcome kinky, queer, and POC people gathering. 

The House: Multiple small flights of stairs (1-4 steps) to move around the space. 

Mingler First Tuesdays Location: A step to get inside the spaces and a full flight of stairs to reach the gathering spot.

Open to 18+

We do strive to include our younger kinksters in our activities. Many suitable meeting spots are alcohol-dependent, so not every space is going o be open to all ages. 

The House: 18+ allowed. Requires special check in with the Mingler Event Team. 

Mingler First Tuesdays Location: 18+ allowed.

Lighting, Acoustics, Service Animals

Outside of mobility concerns, we want to be sure that people can feel comfortable entering a space, knowing their needs for lighting, sounds, or service animal access. 

The House: Various lighting indoors. Outdoors is dark at night, and could be difficult for low-vision folks. Acoustics is mid-level when a party is in full swing. We do reserve the front room and dining area as quiet spaces to relax, decompress, and self-regulate. Service animals are welcome. 

Mingler First Tuesdays Location: Well-lit. Enclosed space bounces sound around as we socialize, so sound processing challenges will be exacerbated. Service animals are welcome.

Dietary Needs (when food is included)

While it's not always possible to cater to specific needs, we make every effort when we have an event that includes food. 

The House: Mingler specifically provides vegetarian and vegan options. When registering for an event, you may choose your option included your fee. Otherwise, it's burgers, hotdogs, chips and sweets. Water and sodas are provided. 

Mingler First Tuesdays Location: Some small snacks for sale. Near downtown restaurants. Purchase drinks at the bar.Tip your bartender!

Allergies & Environment

To be respectful of those with allergies and environmental sensitivities, we ask that you please refrain from wearing strong fragrances, and smoke only in designated areas. 

The House: We take over The House, so our rules go. Go very lightly with body scents of any sort, and smoking is only allowed outside near the pool table. 

Mingler First Tuesdays Location: The upper event space is open to the public, so we cannot control who wears what scents when you go up to access the bar, for example. Smoking is not allowed.

Social Concerns/Anxiety

Mingler was first created to help people find their place in the community, and that means all people. It's hard to put yourself out there, but we do what we can to make it easier. 

Generally: The Mingler server is a great place to dip your toes in, and start to get to know people ONLINE in a friendly and welcoming community. We have spaces for all, and special interest spaces for rope, femdom, makeup, outdoor interests, and more. 

We also hype and promote events around the area, and have TA2s (Team Anxiety Assist) volunteers willing to meet new folks at events and give them a friendly face to connect with. Usually one or several area available for most local events. 

The House: If meeting people is hard, walking into your first no-holds-barred swinky party is downright terrifying for some. That's one reason we have an online orientation and private channels, for people to pre-game the event and get to know each other BEFORE the big day. 

 We also offer glow bracelets at check-in or in the dining area. These are our "Touch-Me-Nots," and signal to everyone that you are open to socializing, but are not open to being approached for sex or play. This is one way to ease in and settle your nerves while taking in...everything. 

Mingler First Tuesdays Location: This event is specifically designed to take the pressure off of trying to meet people on your own. Just show up, and you will be paired with at lest five people through the evening for ten minutes of conversation. No sitting in the corner wondering how to break into conversation!
When it comes down to it, we are here to serve the community. ALL of the community. 

As a volunteer team, we have limited resources to do so. The Mingler Event Team specifically and the Mingler Team as a whole are people just like you with jobs, families, budgeting issues and more. 

Everything we do is a group effort. 

As you can see from the information above, we can sometimes find spaces that fit MOST of our needs, but are not ideal for every person. Which is where YOU come in. 

If you know a space that would allow a gathering of 30-60 kinky people with no or little up-front costs (most of our spaces make their take from the bar or entrance fees), are welcoming to POCs and Queers/LGBTQIAA+, offer a private space or area and have excellent accessibility, please reach out. We ARE looking. 

Thanks so much!
& The Mingler Event Team